You awake in a dream, sitting in an office chair, facing a computer screen. This is a cramped bedroom of sorts. At your disposal are a [[Lava Lamp]], [[HD Camera]] and a [[Deck of Cards]]. What do you take? Pick quickly. The dream might end.A great source of light, warmth, beauty, and, of course, some volcanic magma. [[Break the Lamp]] [[Store the Lamp]] [[Plug in the Lamp]] A picture speaks a thousand words. Useful for eruidte essays and giving speeches. [[Take a selfie]] [[Inspect Camera]]Great, now you can build a House. [[Store the Cards]] [[Play a game of Solitare]] [[Throw them up into the air]] [[Build a House]]Fuck no! What the hell is wrong with you? I can't let you do that. [[Fine, you dumbass pleb, tell me what I can do.]] [[You don't control me...]]You will definitely need this later. [[Exit the room]] Double-click this passage to edit it.Double-click this passage to edit it.I can tell this is going to be a hell of ride. You should be grateful I'm giving you choices at all. If I had my druthers you'd be making a fortune with that Deck of Cards. Guess you can't. Because you suck. Hmm, let's see here. There's a few more choices left for you. jk, idiot. [[Store the Lamp]] You maturely apologize to this ruggish pleb and move on.Don't you fucking dare... [[Dare]] [[Step Down]]Double-click this passage to edit it.It will take a while to heat up and produce the iconic imagery associated with functional Lava Lamps. This is a sad fact that the media have kept secret from you. There, there, it's alright. Don't cry. [[Wipe your eyes and gaze into the pink light]] You smash the lamp on the desk. The pink, gelatinous liquid sloshes out onto the floor, followed by the soft thud of the wax ball. Your dream self feels an extreme sense of guilt. But you clearly don't. So I won't either. Good luck escaping that magma. It's coming for you. You hear a faint bubbling down the hall. [[This guy's bluffing like a puffin. Wait it out.]] [[Take a lousy pen.]]The lava rushes even faster down the hall, pushing down your door. Dream lava is much less viscous than your typical lava. It's like an ocean of lava. And it's bright pink. Like the stuff you dumped out on the floor. You thought I was bluffing. You're the real pleb. [[Dead End]]You snatch a random trinket that will serve some memento of this hellish place. What an intelligent move that will clearly have some relevance. Now get the fuck out of the room. [[Exit the room @ 0.5 speed]]Choose wisely. [[START]] Play the Impossible Game. [[Be your cat.]]Alright. I'm done here. You're gonna wish you had my help. Maybe someone else will take the spot. I always hated working with you people. Sincerely, T [[Continue @ normal speed.]] [[Put out a "HELP WANTED" ad]]You glance down the hallway and spot the lava flowing out of a nearby door. It's definitely not normal lava. As much as you philosophically defeated the shit out of that pesky narrator, you probably should have thought about the impact of your decision. Seriously. Look at this mess. Good thing it's all a dream. Wait. A dream. [[Wake up.]] [[Don't wait for anyone. Leave the house with your pen.]]T: I have come back to specifically leave you penultimate messages before the [[Dead End]]. You did great, pleb.You pet your cat goodbye and [[Exit the house]] pocketing that precious pen. Cats have nine lives, you think. Maybe he can pick up surfing. Cats are afraid of water. What about lava?This puny piece of pitying parchment is a prime portrayal of your productivity. Priceless. You stick it to the door frame and [[Exit the house]].Double-click this passage to edit it.As the cat, your job is simply. Eat the rats. But since your THE cat, you can't eat said rats. A wave of lava is incoming. Your owner liked his precious pen more. You must... [[Eat the rats]] [[Surf the lava]] [[Touch the lava]]Double-click this passage to edit it.There's a time and place for that, you silly cat. [[Dead End]] [[Dead End]] Who knew that cats could swim in lava? You gladly accept this ability, seeing as how lovely and warm it is. You can even breathe in the smooth lava! I'm glad you made it. You see, that first guy, T. He hated your owner. Couldn't work with him and his dreams. I loved the idea of signing up with a cat. Like. What do you even dream? Probably nothing? That makes my job so much easier. Oh. Wait. Here are some choices. Don't worry too much about the outcomes. Cats have nine lives anyway! <3 K [[Speak with K]] [[Continue to frolic throughout the lava flood]] [[Eat the rats]]Your fur begins to burn very fast. Apparently extended amounts of exposure to the water lava lead to realistic effects. Your body burns away in about a minute. Oh, and, no, you don't have eight lives. Sorry. [[Dead End]] Double-click this passage to edit it.That's right. That lamp has a lot of power associated to it. Breaking the encasing would only be begging for trouble. We're not beggars, are we? [[Let's not get classist with our language, aight?]]The narrator leers at you, imposing an uncomfortable silence between both of you. But hey, he might have learned his lesson. You can't really tell though. [[Store the Lamp]] Double-click this passage to edit it.Double-click this passage to edit it.Double-click this passage to edit it.Double-click this passage to edit it.